Review: What Your Childhood Memories Say About You...And What You Can Do About It by Dr. Kevin Leman
Title: What Your Childhood Memories Say About You....And What You Can Do About It
Author: Dr. Kevin Leman
Publisher: Tyndale House, April 2007
Labels: Childhood, Psychology, Self-Help
Format: E-Book, Kindle
Pages: 350 KB
Rating: 4 Stars
Dr. Kevin Leman's purpose in writing this book is to help the reader visit those vivid memories of childhood, not to change them, because that can't be done; but to "change the way we understand them and move forward in light of that understanding."
According to Dr. Leman there are certain traits for firstborn, middle and last born children.
Also, there are certain roles that people play: giver, taker, pleaser, martyr, and charmer. A question we can ask ourselves to find out which role we play is: "I feel that I matter in life when..."
Dr. Leman teaches us to understand our memories in the correct light of truth. Is our memory "our own memory" or the memory of another family member?
Further questions for thought are:
Are we an observant person?
Are we living our "natural personality"? Or do we live a lie?
Do my childhood memories keep me from moving ahead?
I love self-help books, probably because I'm a thinker, note-taker, studier, (not only of myself, but other's).
My husband tells me I think too much. But, that's understandable considering he's an extrovert, and I'm a introvert.
What Your Childhood Memories Say About You.... is a very good/interesting book. It is easy to read, understand, apply. I did not read anything heretical or that could be misconstrued by a reader who is not a fan of a psychology type book. I believe more than anything Dr. Leman asked questions that led me to think.
What were my answers from some of Dr. Leman's questions.
I am a giver, pleaser. Because of my roles, I've encountered and been swept up in, relationships with people who were taker's. This means they feel they matter when I am doing something for them. I feel I matter when I am making people happy, and when I am giving something of myself to them.
My mother, grandmother's, both sister's, daughter in-law, granddaughter---are all giver's, and pleaser's.
Most of the men in our lives have been, and are taker's.
I am blessed to have a husband who is also a giver, and pleaser.
I am the youngest child of 5. I don't fit the role common for a youngest child. I believe that is because I was the only child of my parent's. The closest in age sibling I have is 10 years older than me. This brother left home when I was 8 or 9. I then became an only-type child. My parent's had both been married before and had children, then they married and had me. I also believe that because I strongly bonded with my mother (very little relationship with my dad) I took on many of my mother's characteristics, etc.
That last sentence (bonding with my mother and taking on some of her personality). It has and is a work in progress to be me, Annette, not my mother or my father, but Annette.
What is the common role for a youngest child? To be charming and to crave attention. For those who really know me they know I do not like attention. I can be charming, but not to get what I want.
Because, of what was going on in our home when I was a child, I, like most of us in the house, wanted to blend in to the wood work, or crawl underneath the carpet.
I've made a point in not going into detail about my home life when I was a child.
Some of my favorite quotes:
"While you can't change your past, you can change the way you understand it and move forward in light of that understanding." Chapter 1.
"The child's perspective of world is still inside me." Chapter 2.
"We all share same need to be loved and accepted by our family, to contribute to it in a way that helps us feel we belong." Chapter 4.Link @ Amazon:
Link @ Barnes and Nobles: